Wednesday, 15 May 2013

You're my best kept secret.

A little creative piece I just whacked out.

Aaron had left early this morning, gone to get a pint of milk before heading off for work. He'd left me a note, simply reading:

"I'll love you. Forever and a day. See you when I see you, Luce. You'll always be perfect no matter what.

P.S. Milk's in the fridge, coffee's waiting in the cup."

I was definitely wearing a grin the size of China when I'd finished reading that. Hmm, I felt inspired. I felt thrilled. I sat down, took my time, and with coffee in tow, wrote the most true thing I've ever even thought. Because, I really think it needed to be said. It read:

Every second I spend thinking about you, but not talking about you, I feel like a fraud. I feel like you're never out of my head, kind of always in my heart, but those few words are never uttered from my lips, and why? I'm scared. That's the short answer. Simple. But it's no less true. I'm scared my feelings will land me in the same mess they always do. I'm scared you don't feel the same, and I'm even more terrified that you actually do. I'm scared of commitment and "what ifs" and talks about things we know too well already. It's backwards and weird and yet I still find myself wishing for it. I have for a while, but I haven't told anyone. It's like you're my secret. That feeling people describe, butterflies. Well, with you, I understand what people mean. The way you look at me. Knowing you couldn't tell me the thing you wanted to the most. The grin you flash at me, and my knees go weak, and it's like everything I could ever ask for is standing right in front of me. The way you dress, or run your fingers through your hair or hold my hand like you'd never be ready to let me go. I love that. I love talking about you. I love the expression my face takes on when I hear your name, your voice or see that name flash up on my phone. You make my bad days tolerable, and my good days great. I'm proud to know you, honoured to be part of your life, and I never ever want to lose you.
Forever and a day isn't long enough.
I'll see you when I see you.
All my love,

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