Therapeutic ramblings.

Writing is therapeutic. I've just wrote about 300 words in my iPhone's 'Notes' section sounding off about my moany day, when it hits me, maybe I just need to write my thoughts down. Maybe the so-called writer myself needs to just get things out of my head to get a smile settling on my face. I feel a lot happier already. In a matter of minutes. It's relief. It's more than that though. Writing is innate to me. I was dreaming up stories before I was old enough to write them down. I've always wanted to write. Whether it was doodling my name multiple times in my notebook, compulsive list making or even just a document of my feelings, I've always had a notebook with me. Admittedly, I've never wrote a novel or a collection of poetry. At 21, I've not accomplished anything official writing-wise, but I think that's okay. It's the industry. I love picking up a book in Waterstones and smelling the fresh paper and examining the first page of printed ink. I love buying a book on my kindle and watching the money get debited from my account and then waiting while it appears magically on my screen. I love reading book reviews; gushing or scathing, appreciatory or negative. I love the bit where a writer dedicates their work to a specific person, a time or a place, a memory, a quote or something close to their heart. I love the words on a page and how they resonate with something I've felt, or experienced, or even just said aloud. Sometimes there's nothing more therapeutic than writing. 

'And your favourite is...?'

In case you don't know already, I'm a Literature student. About to embark (ha!) on my third and final year of my degree. I may have learnt a lot so far, and have more still to come, but there's always one question that will stump me when it's directed my way. 

"What is your favourite book/novel?" 

I sit, my expression blank, my hands going clammy. My eyes darting around the room, and really, exploring the darkest crevices in my imagination. I've read hundreds of books, that's a given. I don't ever tend to read a novel more than once, unless it's for revision purposes, i.e. By force rather than choice. So when someone asks me which is my preferred book of all time, I don't know what to say. 

It's problematic. I could be literary and cliché and slump for Fitzgerald's Gatsby, or Pride and Prejudice because okay, it's kind of brilliant. I could drift back to Joanna Nadin's brilliant series I've been following for about six years: Rachel Riley, although then I can't pick one. I could voice my appreciation for Bram Stoker's Dracula and watch people's eyes devour my hint: the dark stuff excites me. So, maybe I can't pick one. Or two, or even three. But here are aome books, off the top of my head, that I will continue to recommend to others; 

Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë

the End of Alice- A.M Homes, 

We Need to Talk About Kevin- Lionel Shriver, 

100 Reasons Why- Jay Asher, 

Looking For Alaska- John Green, Revolutionary Road- Richard Yates, Lolita- Vladamir Nabokov, 

JUNK- Melvin Burgess, 

Candy- Kevin Brooks, 

Just Listen- Sarah Dessen,

Jekyll and Hyde- R. L Stephenson,

The Dinner- Herman Koch,

One Day- David Nicholls,

Summer House with Swimming Pool- Herman Koch,

The Fault in Our Stars- John Green, 

The Post-Birthday World- Lionel Shriver,

The Shock of The Fall- Nathan Filer,

Black Rabbit Summer- Kevin Brooks,

Paper Towns- John Green,

Nine Uses For An Ex-Boyfriend- Sarra Manning,

Room- Emma Donoghue,

and one I'm currently reading; 

Follow Me Down by Tanya Byrne.

Any book recommendations I welcome with open arms and wide eyes, the stranger, darker, weirder, the better. Also, total black comedic elements are my favourite. Moody novels, good conversations and tension. 

Book #8: The Post-Birthday World by Lionel Shriver.

To sum this book up in a word, bittersweet. That would hit the metaphorical nail on the head exactly. Lionel Shriver, award-winning author best known for her weird masterpiece that is We Need To Talk About Kevin, has this time, written something totally different, so far removed from her other works that you actually stop and question whether these two novels were dreamt up from the same mind. Poles apart, and yet her striking writing style is evident throughout both. 

The Post-Birthday world focuses on protagonist Irina, and her struggle to decide on a concrete path in which to develop her life. The narrative splits almost immediately after the introduction, into two parallel plot lines, in which Irina proceeds to make decisions that will shape, not only her future, but those individuals closest to her. A crusade of morals, life choices and loyalties, The Post-Birthday World tugged at my heart strings and made me question the very foundations between right and wrong. Skewed ideals are at the forefront of this novel, and while at first, my emotions were drained by the protagonist, the ride through the pages is nothing if not tumultuous. 

A brilliantly-written novel, one I've taken my time to read, like savouring a fabulous meal, if only to feel too full afterwards. Shriver writes with such conviction that once or twice, I even shed a tear for the most pompous or infuriating characters. My sympathies were all over the place, constantly switching between head and heart like Irina does. Her dual-journey is full of emotion, heartache and excitement, and not one I took lightly. I struggled to read certain parts of this book, out of sheer denial at what I was reading. Just when you think you've cracked Shriver's secret, you're spun in an entirely different direction, left with nothing but an expression of disbelief.

You'd do well to read this book. 

NaNoWriMo: Challenge accepted.

I've done it. I've signed myself up to NaNoWriMo (or in normal, English-speaking sense National Novel Writing Month.) The task, for those of you who are unfamiliar with it, challenges participants to write 50,000 words over the course of 30-days, in particular, the month of November. Users can write anything they desire; there are no thematic constraints or subjects that appear taboo. You are 'a winner' if you succeed in reaching their 50,000 word goal in the thirty day time frame. It is a challenge aimed at creative individuals, aspiring writers, or people who just want to be able to say "yeah well, I wrote a novel last month." I can't decide which one of these categories I fall into. I must note straight away, I'm a novice. An amateur. I've never even been on the NaNoWriMo website until about 8 minutes ago, so I'm pretty psyched, but also pretty effing scared. It was a bit of an impulsive decision to say the least. I want to be able to have something to show for my degree course skills I'm currently pursuing, as well as test myself to see if I in fact do have the discipline to write a novel in just a month. I've never attempted anything so ambitious as this, and I'm kinda worried I'll a) descent into misery and procrastination and failure b) end up writing drunk into the early hours and make no sense or c) get so stressed I'll end up quitting. I really hope none of these things happen. I'm kind of determined. I don't give up when I put my mind to something, so that's sort of promising I suppose.

I have James Blunt's new album playing via Spotify right now. Maybe I'll get inspired. PS. I don't even have a plot outline, oh my god. I've got 34 hours and 16 minutes to dream up an idea, characters, and prep everything before the clock strikes (00:00 GMT) on November 1st. Ready or not, my novel is coming.

Call me Duffy Moon.

"you can do it, duffy moon." -JJ.

The girl with the wry smile that creeps slowly across her face when no one is looking. The one who just disappears for hours with no explanation and returns later, expressing too many emotions to put your finger on. She spends her time reading and writing. It's not only her passion, but it's her escape. When life in the real world gets too much, that's what she does, and it's kind of perfect. Shut the doors, shut everyone out, and indulge in a passion that will continue long after she's gone. It's hopeful and endearing and dangerous all at once. Those pages hide so many secrets, so many lies, so many passions. Those words aren't just dreamed up, they are her dreams. What she writes, is what she envisages in her own future. That's her way of putting her dreams into reality. Making it physical. Putting it down on paper. Maybe it's not everyone's idea of dreaming, but it's hers. It's all she's wanted for as long as she can remember, and if she doesn't get it, she doesn't know what she'll do. She never stops writing. There's always something to write about. It doesn't matter that every piece she writes isn't up to publishing scratch. It's not for them, she writes because she needs to. Approval isn't necessary, from them, from you, from anyone. But if you do, even better. That girl will always be a dreamer. She's destined for big things. Huge things. That notebook by her bedside harbours her deepest desires and her biggest secrets, and some of the greatest 3am ideas anyone has ever had. All you need to do is remember this name, you'll see it in flashing lights one day. Duffy Moon.

100 books in the making.

Okay, for months now, I've moaned about how boring it is, only being restricted to reading Course Books for my Literature and Creative Writing degree. So, now that I'm finally free for four whole months, as well as getting wasted, I have a very carefully adapted list of books I want to read. Some are randomly added, some are recommended by others- friends, people from the twittersphere, my cousin Sophie (canny little mention there, hey Sophs!) who has a very keen eye for a great book, so we're always swapping our latest finds and fawning over them together over the dinner table on a Sunday afternoon.

So, what does my list consist of? I'll probably add to this, (okay, who am I kidding, of course I will) and some will probably be found, flicked through, then discarded, but for this moment in time, this is my list, as follows:

1. Paper Towns- John Green
2. An Abundance of Katherines- John Green
3. Will Grayson, Will Grayson- John Green
4. Reckless- Allison Brennan
5. Safe Haven- Nicholas Sparks
6. Pygmalion- George Bernard Shaw
7. Lily's Mistake- Pamela Ann
8. Silver Linings Playbook- Matthew Quick
9. Never Too Far- Abbi Glines
10. Fallen Too Far- Abbi Glines
11. Gone Girl- Gillian Flynn
12. The Story-Teller- Maud Lindsay
13. Wait For You- J. Lynn
14. The Book Thief- Markus Zusak
15. Vanity Fair- William Makepeace Thackeray
16. The Picture Of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
17. Inferno- Dan Brown
18. The Dice Man- Luke Rhinehart
19. Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend- Jenny Colgan
20. The Beautiful And The Damned- F. Scott Fitzgerald
21. This Side Of Paradise- F. Scott Fitzgerald
22. Why We Broke Up- Daniel Handler
23. Sense And Sensibility- Jane Austen
24. Little Women- Louisa May Alcott
25. A Streetcar Named Desire- Tennessee Williams
26. 1984- George Orwell
27. Mrs Dalloway- Virginia Woolf
28. Lolita- Vladimir Nabokov
29. The Sky Is Everywhere- Jandy Nelson
30. Dash And Lily's Book Of Dares- David Levithan and Rachel Cohn
31. Identical- Ellen Hopkins
32. Someday, Someday, Maybe- Lauren Graham
33. Kissing The Rain- Kevin Brooks
34. Nine Uses For An Ex Boyfriend- Sarra Manning 
35. A Day At The Office- Matt Dunn
36. You Had Me At Hello- Mhairi McFarlane
37. Mistakes In The Background- Laura Dockrill
38. On The Road- Jack Kerouac
39. Starter For Ten- David Nicholls
40. The Rosie Project- Graeme Simsion
41. One Night That Changes Everything- Lauren Barnholdt
42. Revenge Wears Prada- Lauren Weisberger 
43. The Post-Birthday World- Lionel Shriver
44. Room- Emma Donoghue
45. Waking Up Married- Lyn Mira Kelly
46. Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore- Robin Sloan
47. About A Boy- Nick Hornby
48. The End Of Alice- A.M Homes
49. Me Before You- Jojo Moyes
50. Engelby- Sebastian Faulkes
51. Whale Talk- Chris Crutcher 
52. How To Save A Life- Sara Zarr
53. The Knife Of Never Letting Go- Patrick Ness
54. Hold Still- Nina LaCour
55. Wintergirls- Laurie Halse Anderson
56. Please Ignore Vera Dietz- A.S King
57. Ask The Passengers- A.S King
58. Afterwards- Rosamund Lupton
59. Breathe My Name- R.A Nelson
60. A Thousand Cuts- Simon Lelic
61. Attachments- Rainbow Rowell
62. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
63. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
64. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
65. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
66. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
67. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
68. Harry Potter The Deathly Hallows
69. Whiskey Beach- Nora Roberts
70. Beautiful Ruins- Jess Walter
71. Defending Jacob- William Landay
72. Hunting And Gathering- Anna Gavalda
73. Stay- Deb Caletti
74. Such A Pretty Girl- Laura Weiss
75. Kez- Barry Hines
76. Gone With The Wind- Margaret Mitchell
77. The Lucky One- Nicholas Sparks
78. A Bend In The Road- Nicholas Sparks
79. So Much For That- Lionel Shriver
80. Big Brother- Lionel Shriver
81. Lace- Shirley Conran
82. Rachel's Holiday- Marian Keyes
83. Catch 22- Joseph Heller
84. Hate List- Jennifer Brown
85. Monster Love- Carol Topolski
86. The Rules of Disappearing- Ashley Elston
87. The Hunger Games- Suzanne Collins
88. Catching Fire- Suzanne Collins
89. Mockingjay- Suzanne Collins
90. Speak-  Laurie Halse Anderson
91. Umbrella- Will Self
92. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
93. Fahrenheit 451- Ray Bradbury
94. The Bell Jar- Sylvia Plath
95. The Unknowns- Gabriel Roth
96. Follow Me Down- Tanya Byrne
97. Close My Eyes- Sophie Mckenzie
98. Tigers In Red Weather- Liza Klaussman
99. Cloud Atlas- David Mitchell
100. Visitation Street- Ivy Pochoda

I'm not setting a deadline for these books to be read by, because life is unpredictable and I just know I'd end up resenting a task that should be nothing other than relaxing. For every book I read on this list, I will write a blog post, on what I think, what others think that have read it, and over all, my verdict on each piece of literature. Some are just for fun, some are deep and meaningful (well, the blurbs say so) and some are just sarcastic and witty words all thrown together. I'm looking forward to this. I love reading more than I can say, so this is not an effort for me in the slightest. So, I'm ready..Are you?