Let's get seasonal.

Somehow, while I've been blinking, staring vainly into a mirror or tweeting something, Christmas has arrived (well, almost!) Less than four days until everyone goes all super-festive and splashes out on turkey crowns and lots of stuffing, Christmas crackers with bad jokes in and of course, stupid hats. Whether you're a fan of this time of year or you're more negatively known as a total Scrooge, there is something kind of magical about it. 

I love Christmas (even though I hate winter.) The happy smiling faces, the tinsel everywhere and the endless reel of festive music played everywhere you go. It seems I can't even go to the shop without hearing someone attempt a BandAid tribute act sporting tatty, bad-fitting Santa hats. It's lovely though, right? Maybe that's just me. All the silly, stupid, eccentric kind of things are all acceptable at this time of year. Spending an unnatural amount of time in close proximity with family, some of which you will probably only see twice in the coming year. The extortionate shopping sprees leaving hundreds of people in debt to enter the new year, because treating anyone and everyone you know is an absolute must on December 25th. The only time anyone dares to wake me up early and doesn't have to fear the wrath of my sharp tongue. From Jack Frost to The Santa Clause, the festive films just seem to be shown on a loop. Fireworks, food and family. Exchanging gifts, spending time with the most special people in my life and just having some time to really reflect on the year gone by, whether it be good, bad or downright ugly. 

So, I'm currently wrapped up in bed watching QI and Mock The Week repeats and humming along to a Christmas song I can't even place now. A smile is resting ever so slightly on my lips. Four days to go. A matter of hours. The shops are going mad. Everyone is frantic. Wrapping paper, cellotape and batteries have never been in higher demand. There's so many fairy lights donned around some streets that it's only a matter of time until they fuse the national grid or the leccy company shut them off as a sign of bad will. 

I'm making Christmas Eve plans to go out, for the first time ever. The first year I'm celebrating Christmas no longer a teenager. Heidi's first Christmas. The first time I've been really unprepared, and I have to be honest, I'm nowhere near as excited as I should be. Fair enough, I'm the big 2-0 now, but still. It's still a special time of year, and I'm thinking of changing my name to Ebenezer unless I start slapping a smile on my face and feeling the spirit. (And no, that's not alcoholic spirit, to my dismay.) The counting has truly begun, everyone is having the will-it/won't-it snow debate and waiting for 25th with bated breath, butterflies and the occasional beer. 

I'm getting there. There's nothing better than spending three days straight with your family talking and reminiscing and exchanging gifts and drinking and eating your own body weight in gorgeous food. 2013 has had it's ups and downs, highs and lows, and I don't know whether I should be nostalgic or relieved to see the back of it. I lost someone special this year, made a hell of a lot of bad choices, and a few good ones. I've made friends and the occasional enemy. I've had a lot of firsts, and hopefully not any lasts. I love and cherish everyone in my life, and I never want to lose them. So, here's to you all. If you're even half as happy as me come Christmas Day, you'll have a wonderful time I'm sure. Whatever you're doing, whether it's a wild party, or a quiet affair, a family reunion or just a peaceful close-knit Christmas, enjoy it. Appreciate everything, especially this time of year. So pens down people, it's officially on it's way. Turn the music on, the heating up and crack open the alcohol. Now that's an entirely different meaning to a merry Christmas. 

x

Ignorance is bliss.

I love this quote. I love everything about Richard Yates Revolutionary Road since I studied it for my A-level Literature coursework. It's very quotable. If you haven't read it, you must. Ignore the film, minus the very brilliant Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet reunion. It's too dark to enjoy, and all the best bits of the dialogue appear wooden and unfeeling. 

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. As you can read, it's ignorance. It's well known that while I'm a very sociable, people-person, I absolutely need my own space to breath. There is, in my mind, nothing better than being able to shut my bedroom door, and close the world out from time to time when everything seems to get too much. Too aggravating. Simply too loud. I never ever ever turn my phone off, and while I'm the easiest person in the world to get in touch with, there are times when I wish it was harder for people to contact me. Sometimes, I need to be left alone. To my own devices. To just watch a film, have a coffee or read a book. Love for my own space is actually one of the reasons why I didn't move out for Uni. First year kind of makes sense, you move out to get to know people, make friends, and sometimes, enemies. To get to experience the independence, the campus, and rolling in at 7am without worrying about disturbing your now-very-pissed-off relatives. But for me, all of this was overridden by something else. A need for something you just can't have. Alone-time. Second year is the same. A few friends suggested moving out, getting a flat and living together. But money was not the only factor holding me back. I like my own space. I like to be able to live away from my friends. I get irritated easily. So, in my book, ignorance sometimes is blissful. 

It's peaceful and relaxing, sometimes. It's nice, in my opinion, to be able to escape other peoples dramas and lives, and just live your own, in your own company. Maybe I'm weird. I don't know. Let me know, are you like this too? I want to know.

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@eleanorward_