Sunday, 29 September 2013

You're running through my veins.

Okay. Since the misery that was this morning, I've had a better-late-than-never change of heart. I realised that my downturned face was just spreading negativity and it was all so bloody unnecessary. So, I started rebuilding my bridges. I felt so down that I hadn't spent much time with anyone lately, and stupidly felt like I was losing those that are most important to me. Stupidly so, looking back a mere ten hours, I realise I was having a mental block and it was all so unnecessary. So, I slapped a big grin on my face and began texting all of the mad, crazy, wonderful people in my life, updating them on my newly positive state, apologising for being such a moody bitch lately, and making plans for the near future. 

After doing so, I realised something. As the replies came flooding in, I was doing something I hadn't for a while. I was grinning. And by that I mean full-on, genuine smiley grinning. Natural happiness showed across my face and a sense of relief settled on my shoulders. My support system, my loved ones, the greatest people you will ever meet, well, they were there for me all along and I somehow, in my bad week, my sleepless nights and my illness, lost sight of that. Silly enough as it is. And through that, I realised something else. While I need basic things, food and water and warmth and shelter for survival, in reality, I need more than that. You lot, you special, wonderful people in my life, you make me tick. You're the reason I get up on a morning, the reason I smile or laugh, the reason my heart beats and my lungs breathe. You're the blood running through my veins. What I'm saying is, not only do I not want to live without you, I physically can't. 

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