Busy.

I'm content and disorganised and excited and numb and ready to celebrate Christmas surrounded by the best people I know. My blog is being understandably neglected, but hey, life just gets too eventful to sit in front of laptop all day. 💁 

keep the questions coming in.

This is something I'd never tried before, but I decided last week, to experiment with my writing. This, to follow, is a story, albeit short and vague, told basically through the use of questions and inferred answers. I kind of like it, so I hope you're intrigued too.

What If:

What if this is all too close to home?
What if I'm making the worst decision of my life?
What if this will make me a laughing stock? 
What if he doesn't know?
What if your friends hate me?
What if your ex looks down her nose at me? 
What will my family think?
What will yours think?
Do you even like me?
Do you actually care?
Am I kidding myself?
Did I really drink that much?
Are we really serious?
What am I worth?
Do you make me laugh?
Are you worth my time?
Am I worth your energy?
Can you do better?
Can I do better?
Can I do worse?
Can you do worse?
Do you still love her?
Does she still hate you?
Why did you do it?
Did you intentionally hurt her?
Is that even worse?
Who was she?
Was she really worth it?
Am I?
Do you like me?
Are you just lying to me?
Should I trust you?
Why should I?
What have I got to gain?
Am I going to lose you? 
Does the thought of him bother you?
Have I got anything to gain?
Should I get out while I still can?
Is there a reason my friends don't like you?
How do you say my name?
Are you ignoring me?
What's your number?
Is that a tattoo I see there?
What colour are my eyes?
How tall are you?
Are you going to buy me a drink then?
Is that okay?
Is that all?
Do you forgive me?
Are you sorry?
Did you mess up?
Did you cry?
Was that your biggest mistake?
What do you want from me?
What do you want from life?
If you could, what would you change?
Why?
Do you believe in fate?
Am I a good kisser?
Where is your hand going?
Did I say move it?
Are you okay?
Are you sure?
Why are you laughing?
Should I be worried?
Should I be scared?
Am I making a mistake?
Should it matter?
Should you matter?
Will you treat me with respect?
Do you know what "no" means?
Should I trust you?
What's your star sign?
Why aren't you replying?
What if I walked away?
Would you run after me?
What was the last promise you made?
Did you break it or keep it?
Are you honest?
Are you offended?
Are these questions daunting?
Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?
Yes?
No?
Maybe?
Let's? 
Is that your phone ringing?
Was it her?
Please say you ignored it?
Is it hot in here or is that just me?
What do you think?
What are you feeling?
Do you regret it?
Do you care?
Is that funny?
Are you as embarrassed as I am?
Should we have another vodka?
Is that a cigarette in your hand?
Can I have a drag?
Will you open the window?
Is this your room?
Are you acting like you mean it?
Are you faking it?
Should I wait?
Are you the right guy?
Are you the wrong guy?
Is the timing right?
Is the lighting right?
Is that kind of wrong?
Wait, is that my phone? 
How did we get here?
Are you okay?
Will you remember me?
Is that weird?
Is that attractive?
Should I feel stupid?
Why do I feel stupid?
What's going on?
Why is my head hurting?
Can you get me a glass of water?
Is this gin?
Are you trying to kill me?
Is that better?
Is that worse?
How much do you care?
Why do I want to cry?
Are you sure this is okay?
Do you promise?
How the hell do you sleep at night?
Is that weird?
Is that the door?
Are you leaving so soon?
Have you got somewhere else you'd rather be? 
Can I just?
How about I'll wait?
Why?
Will you do one thing for me?
How awkward is that?  
Do I want to know?
Are you laughing at me or with me?
Should I be flattered?
Should I be offended?
Why am I not surprised?
You've got to go?
You can't stay for a coffee?
Can you put that cigarette out?
Will you not slam the door?
Should I?
Can you make me a promise you'll keep?
Do you like me?
Do you have feelings for me?
Do you love me?
Do you hate me?
Am I a rebound?
Am I being used?
Am I even pretty?
Do you even see me when you look at me?
What colour did you say my eyes were?
Where shall we go?
How far have we come?
Are you happy?
Are you tired?
Can you bare it?
Can you handle all these endless questions?
Am I right?
Am I?
Is that a rhetorical question?
Is this too soon?
What kind of things do you write?
Is that about me?
Are you trying to impress me?
What if I am?
Is it working?
Will you take a risk?
Are you ready for that?
What if you we take our time?
Who is it you see when you look in the mirror?
Are you proud?

What's your favourite song?
Do you know the lyrics?
Will you take my hand and sing it with me?
Will you do one thing for me?
What's that?
Will you give us a chance?

In a vacuum, no one can hear you blog.

It's strange, I debated making a blog for ages before I actually did it, and now I have, I'm sort of relieved. I never thought for a second anyone would read my online scribbles, although I'm not actually sure how many people are. I think there's a certain kind of liberation you get from blogging. Putting all of your thoughts down the minute they happen, and being able to press 'publish' immediately, and your brainwaves are out there. A live-feed into my unconsciousness. An insight into how messed up, crazy and chatty I really am. 

I feel like when I write, I'm sharing the world's biggest, most important secret, (not because I value my scrawl that much) but because it's nice thinking you're writing for an audience who don't have expectations. Posts can be from the mundane to the hilarious, and people will read them, enthralled and excited, no matter which. I know I've read countless blog posts and thought 'Wow. I want to know this person' and I've always wondered whether someone could react like that to my writing, even though it's mainly spontaneous thought. 

I haven't mentioned my blog to an awful lot of people. I guess I have reservations about how it's going to be received, but if I'm really honest, I write for myself, not for a readership of any kind. Writing is my passion, so my blog is my way of sharing the thing I love with people who may or may not appreciate it. If it's not to your taste, then I really don't mind, but I'd be eternally flattered if you like my blog, and would love it if you shared your thoughts with me. After all, there's nothing more flattering than finding out someone appreciates your opinion, in whatever shape or form. 

So, if you happen to come across this, I hope you like my nonsense. Whether it makes you grin like a Cheshire cat, laugh uncontrollably, or identify with privately, I appreciate it more than words can say.

:)