Quips and crutches.

Believe it or not, I've actually found myself voluntarily thinking about something I've been taught at uni. According to a theorist we've been introduced to, we only understand what an object or concept is due to the existence of an opposite. This is known as dialectics. (Something I've found quite interesting!) For example, we only understand what 'light' means because we are familiar with that 'dark' means. You get it, it's pretty simple really. This then, strangely enough, got me thinking about, as the title suggests, quips and crutches. Just because something can be seen as negative, does that mean it can never be positive? If a habit, a flaw, a quip or a crutch has negative connotations, it doesn't always automatically mean that this is a negative attribute that someone possesses.

While a quip sounds positive, whimsical even, a flaw or a crutch immediately make you think pessimistically, right? Well, what if that way of thinking isn't to be encouraged? Think of some habits you possess, do you put a positive or negative spin on them, and why? In my oh-so-deep train of thought, I got wondering why do we let our flaws define us, when really, they are only a tiny part of who we really are. I am, perhaps, quite proud of my habits. Well, most of them. I practically advertise my daily dose of caffeine, my occasional binge drinking and inability to stop tweeting. I bite my nails and swear too much and I'm really annoyingly pessimistic at times. I'm overly opinionated and can sometimes be offensive. I'm slightly OCD at times, and like everything my own way, I play with my hair a lot and I life way out of my means. I'm a creature of habit. And all of these things, well, are they necessarily bad things? Since when did our habits become our downfalls? Why should my coffee addiction be a negative? Or the fact I'm slightly predictable, -it just means I'm reliable and pretty easy to track down if/when you need me. I don't think my habits are flaws by default, nor am I solely defined by these things, instead, they are just a small part of who I am. If you know my habits, you are one step closer to understanding who I am, under the smiley exterior. I like to think that my habits, crutches, quips, flaws and failings are what make me an individual. United and apart, they are a small piece of who I am, as well as who I want to be. Some conscious, others unconscious, these things make me who I am, and who my friends and family know and love. Sure, I have things I wish I could change, but then again, would it be the same? My gullibility, my stupid, slightly 'blonde' moments, my obsessive streak, these are what sometimes I'm known best for, even if I don't like them, someone does. 

So, maybe we should be appreciating those flaws, instead of trying to hide them. Who says anyone else sees them as flaws except you? Insecurities are only just that because you feel a certain way about them. Just think, imagine if what you hate about yourself is exactly what someone loves about you?

Happy failings.

I'm currently sitting, very stressy, yet quite happy, at my desk. My overflowing bookshelf, containing some of the literary loves of my life, acts as a welcome distraction to any negative thoughts. My eyes keep getting drawn to certain spines, like John Green's Looking For Alaska, Melvin Burgess' Junk, Kevin Brooks' Candy and the like. There's also, unfortunately, one or two more 'literary' works lurking in the shadowy corners, a little bit less welcome than some of my favourites. Anyway, like I said, I'm getting distracted again. Fireworks are going off almost consistently outside my window, yet another distraction. Things have been somewhat hectic lately. Everything seems to be getting quite on top of me. Imagine a little me, buried under a mountain of essays and assignments, deadlines, and coursebooks. Oh, and in my pre-moment of madness, my commitment to NaNoWriMo. I have to add, it's four days in and I've never met the advised 1,666 words a day deadline yet. Oops. I'm feeling a bit guilty about that. However, I'm determined. Yes, kind of got my act together. After every weekend, constantly drinking, laughing and pursuing an overly-active social life, I've suddenly realised that I should probably do some work right about now. (I just realised that my exam is in 38 days!) Panic stricken little moi can no longer bury her head in the sand, or a quilt, although the latter, is, of course, very very tempting.

So, what's my latest distraction? Well, okay, not what..Who. I've had so many things that have deterred me from doing work lately, mainly, the people in my life. In no way are they bad influences, (cue the laughter, that of course is me!) but I'm just way too happy to spend time with everyone lately. I'm feeling social, you could say. Therefore, despite my back-breaking amount of work creeping up on me, and stressing me out so much I just find myself almost reduced to stress-tears, I'm happy. I might be close to failing assignments, AND NaNoWriMo may go completely out of the window if I'm not careful, (and far more constructive) but it's all for a good-ish cause. I'm getting a grip, but also, I'm finding myself to be happier than ever right now. A huge grin on my face, that fuzzy feeling you can't shift, well, failure may be bitter, but it's looking sweetly bitter from where I'm sitting.

Is that an optimistic viewpoint? Scary. I think someone's drugging me with happy things.