Anything but proud.

Well well well, the binge has been five days now. I've not really stopped drinking (until now) since Tuesday afternoon. I'm one big tequila-ruined mess. I'm a liability, obviously. Apparently "a tease" and "a bad influence." According to some anyway. I'm shaking I'm so hungover. Last night is a mixture of dirty knees, gag reflexes, bad singing, worse dancing and ridiculous antics. Hilarious, cringe-worthy and worth every penny of the £40 I threw at the bar staff. I must stop now. I might look over the last five days (and nights) with grins and grimaces, and a few tears (I'm not sure whether they're happy or sad) but there's one thing I'm not, proud. I don't think I can be. I smell of smoke (why?) and all I can taste is tequila and hairspray (WHUT?) I've got a few drunken, huffy texts and thank god, not many photos to document it. Also.. I must stop using "well at least I'm not boring" as an excuse to do stupid things. I'm feeling the backlash. Indirectly, if what I've heard turns out to be true, I may end up throwing a four-year-old style tantrum. Just a warning. I'm disgraceful. 

Dedication #1: I'm the Cheryl to her Betty.

Elizabeth-y. Lizzybeth. Bitsy. Betty. 

The girl who knows me better than I know myself. My best friend, through everything. The girl I got to know over one too many creative Variation posters in Mr Cook's science lessons in Year 8. We have been through so much together, from mutual friends' fall-outs, to family problems and everything in between. The one I've taken countless photos with, the one with impeccable taste, the best sense of humour and the greatest air-guitarist of all-time. My Earth Hour partner, my confidante, my drunk text buddy, my other half on Bebo all those years ago. 

The one who I struggled to stifle laughter with through countless Media and English lessons with Rosey. In the time we've known each other, we've been all over together; A very wet, miserable yet hilarious 3 days in the Scottish Borders for 'team building', two very questionable, so-called 'educational' visits to Edinburgh, two very random, lengthy trips to Stratford, which our teachers swore were 'cultural visits', god knows how many cinema outings, meals and shopping trips in between. We spent two weeks together in Turkey a few years back, and lived to tell the tale, minus a few dodgy run-ins with the locals, some very funny experiences with someone we've come to know as Poodley (for unexplainable reasons) and the ultimate risk of being drowned in the pool, unless we participated, willingly, in The Dance. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

She's the one person who knows every one of my secrets, the person who means the world and more to me, the person I trust with my life. I was in a total panic, god knows why, when I was going to start Uni back in September, and for the first time, I wouldn't be surrounded by the same familiar faces, namely Betty. The fear that we'd drift apart and eventually become strangers, was horrifying to me.Obviously, I was blind to think i could ever get rid of her that easily. She's currently pursuing a degree in Primary Education, something she's destined to do, and I just know that if she's ha;f as good a teacher if she is a friend, her future students are lucky as hell.

We can go days or even weeks without seeing each other, yet when we do, nothing has ever changed. We can spark up a conversation as if we'd had no time apart. I've told her this, but to lose her would be like losing my right arm. I can honestly say I don't know what I'd do without her, and I never want to find out.

So, to the most mental, funny, positive person I know, this is a dedication I hope you'll appreciate when you read. Bad news, you're stuck with me for a while yet.