Saturday, 26 April 2014


I can't help feeling how I feel. You know how it is. For me, if I'm ever nasty or bitchy about someone, it's usually because they pretty much intimidate the hell out of me. I know that's not a nice trait, I'm well aware it's not big or clever, or mature, but it's a defense mechanism in my eyes. There are certain people lately who intimidate me so much, it upsets me. Someone who seems to always have the upper hand. Always on the side lines, in my ear whispering snide comments and always haunting my peripheral vision. I can't help it. Some people just get my back up, make my skin crawl, and make me feel about six inches tall.

I'm having a bad day. I feel under-appreciated, unwanted, alone. I've felt like that quite a bit lately, and there's kind of a reason, but I don't want to moan all over my blog about my problems. No one really wants to read that. I'm a bit suffocated at the minute, even though I think that's the wrong word to use. I feel like I'm surrounded by people I love until I really need someone, and then it's like a tumbleweed in a deserted street. No one is to be seen, heard of, all are absent. No one breathes a word, rings, texts or anything. I'm alone. But that's the problem, because I shouldn't feel like this. I want my family to see that, and yet they, somewhat rightfully so, seem to notice my mood. I keep getting asked am
I okay, because loneliness apparently crawls through your pores or something. I need to sort my life out. Better yet, I need other people to sort theirs out, because I'm sick to death of feeling like I'm everyone's sideline, everyone's second choice, everyone's last resort. I'm no one's consolation prize, (to quote the brilliant When Harry Met Sally) so, it's about time I sorted this out. Once and for all. Time to grab all my favourite people, and tie them together (not in a weird way) because I want everyone back. As close as you like. 

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