Blind hope.

You're laughing and joking and making plans, for the weekend, and the summer, and the future, and then suddenly life throws another curveball and everyone just stands there, looking at it, like, 'SHIT.' 

I am lying in bed, cocooned in my quilt, and I can't shift the attitude that life just isn't fair. Certain individuals seem to be handed the worst of hands, and it doesn't seem right, or okay, or fair at all. With crossed fingers and toes, tense chests and heavy hearts, we hope things turn out okay. There is no other option, nothing else we can bare to entertain. This is the only outcome we can fathom, so no pressure, SCRATCH THAT, all the pressure in the world is on your shoulders, because after all, even Duffy Moon can do it. 

Notions.

She knew before she ever even said the words, wrote it down or repeated it to another person. Probably before she even acknowledged it to herself. A look. An exchange of words. She had feelings for him long before he admitted his, or brushed her cheek or held her hand. Before the words fell from her bottom lip and hung in the air, clinging on to some forced, grasped sense of meaning. It felt right, it felt comfortable, it felt like it could potentially be everything she ever wanted. 

Don't flatter yourself.

The spring in my step isn't down to you. I’m not giving you credit for the smile plastered across my face or the way my pulse is racing. My sore feet. My angry texts. My lack of dignity. My rotten hangover and inability to keep any food down. My tear-stained cheeks, my bloodshot eyes and my shaking hands. Those are down to you, partly, and somewhat due to the sheer amount of alcohol I binged on the other night. That horrible what-did-you-do-last-night feeling you can’t shift from the pit of your stomach. The self-hatred. The mind-numbing headache and feeling of regret. So, here's to the ability I have of pretending everything is okay. Of dusting myself off, getting back up and starting all over again. Don't flatter yourself. I'm more than capable of coping without you.