Grinning.

As the rain clatters violently at the windows, my smile never falters once. And it's all down to you. My favourite human, my best friend and my boyfriend. We've known each other for just over two years now, been friends on-and-off for about 20 months, and in a relationship for what is almost a year and a half (next week.) Maybe I'm still in shock, in awe of you, and us. You're the first and last person I think of every day, and the reason I get out of bed in the morning. I'm forever thankful you never gave up on me all those months ago, and even more so you've stuck by me now. We've argued and momentarily wanted to kill each other, but on the whole, you make me happier than I ever imagined was possible. You bring out the best in me, and I in you, I hope. There's not a part of you I couldn't trace from memory, as it feels like your outline is imprinted onto my retinas. You're the warm fuzzy feeling when it's cold out and I'm not feeling well, the grin that lights up my face even when I'm low, and the aching muscles in my stomach, and the tears running down my face from fits of laughter. You're honestly the best thing to ever happen to me. 18 months and counting, Lukas. Feels like we've known each other forever, and yet this is only the beginning. 

Nothing like it.

Curled up in bed together, the rain cascading down the window pane fervently. My head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat and strumming along to the familiar, comforting thud with my forefinger. I smile, and you feel my cheek swell, a tell-tale sign. An eyelash strokes your cheek every once in a while and you laugh, or giggle, as it tickles ever so slightly. The way you smell seems to drift onto me for hours after we've left one another, and for that I'm always thankful. A tear to be shed when we part next. Difficulty, if only temporary. I feel like there will be an aching void in my chest for eight days without catching a glimpse of your cheeky grin and deep eyes. I well up just thinking about it. Clutching hands say goodbye, salty tears like the raindrops, cascading, yet, speedier, gloomier, more heartfelt. I hug your pillows, taking in the scent, they smell of you. Familiar, safe, my happy place. The one I'll leave tomorrow night, and return to next Sunday, with brand-spanking new holiday snaps and a topped-up tan! Slap a smile on, Ellie, you're supposed to be excited.

#homesickalready