Skyscraper expectations.

What if everything stopped here.
What if your name and mine are never uttered in the same breath any longer.
What if you're okay with that, and I'm not.
What if we never met, or never do meet again,
Is that better, or is that worse?
Do you regret it, that thing we knew as us?
Or do you want to laugh every time it's brought up,
Like it's just a fly on your windshield,
Just a spec of dust in your peripheral vision.
Maybe that's all I am now,
Or all I ever was,
But to me, you weren't just that.
You weren't just a crumb to be brushed away
Or an insufferable stain you just can't shift,
You were welcomed. Wanted.
You still are,
And I think you know that.
In the pit of your stomach, you know.
But I shrug my shoulders when I hear your name,
Because I can't ever live up to it,
Your skyscraper expectations.
I'm not that girl,
And you're not that kind of guy who is willing to compromise.
And I guess that's the beginning,
And the middle,
And the end, of everything.

'Grounded.'

I find you wandering, slowly
Descending
Into
Lunacy.
The friction encompasses and suffocates
As I struggle to wade through
The misery of your mind.
The torment, burning scarlet,
The flames escape and devour
Everything they touch.
Burnt, blackened, blistered.
You hide in your own little bubble,
Floating and fluctuating,
Narrowly avoiding a dozen sharp edges.
A fragile spirit, a porcelain doll,
Its only a matter of time,
Until your exterior shatters.
Brittle to touch, hard to handle,
And harder to tie down,
One or two kind words,
And a comforting smile
And your anguish begins to
D i s p e r s e . . .
I see your once-lost eyes
Look focused for the first time.
Suddenly,
The frail, troubled, china figurine
Sitting in front of me, calms.
My reassurance is all it takes.
I see you clearly for the first time.
And there you are, at last;
Grounded.

'Without You.'

I miss your smile, I miss your face,
And the way your coffee used to taste,
The glint in your eyes,
The way you combed your hair and wrote your name.
No one told me that the last time,
Would be the last time I'd ever hold your hand,
Or feel the way you made me feel,
Like I was the only one that mattered,
The only one I saw.
I've spent countless hours,
Drowning in my own tears,
Craving your lost touch.
Your voice can only be heard on the answering machine,
Sitting by the door, a lonely reminder
Of the aching void I'll never fill.
I never will speak to you again,
You're never there to hold my hand,
Or my hair back when I've drank too much.
I never do see your smile again,
Or see you walk back through the door.
Not in this lifetime. Not as long as we're here.
Not as long as our hearts thud and our chests heave,
But maybe there's more, after we leave.
Maybe one day we'll come face to face
Between the clouds at heaven's gates,
We share a moment,
You smile and take my hand,
And we'll do everything we said we would but never did,
Everything,
Just like we planned.